I think I am morally bankrupt
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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