Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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