The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
