Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
