y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
