I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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