How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
