nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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