2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
