one two three fourrrrnication!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
