then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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