Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
