Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
