trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
