best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
