hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
