We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i dont even know how to be here
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
