You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
