apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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