I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
