He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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