Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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