Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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