we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
