He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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