She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
