Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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