Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The beers last night were like the tears from god
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
