I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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