He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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