Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Terrible idea I love it
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
