either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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