She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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