i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
