You're earring is so big in my mouth
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
