maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
