Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
3 2 1 whiskey
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
