How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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