Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
