I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Randomize
