I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
