I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
