moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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