You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I came so hard my ears popped.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
