when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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