So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
