no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
