Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
