Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
