Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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