I wanna bring you to show and tell
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
